Here’s my Christmas wish list! All I want for Christmas* is a countertop water flosser, a new cover for my MacBook Air, an ozone generator with oxygen tank, the new Gen. 3 Oūra ring sleep tracker, a couple of mood-enhancing wearables like Hapbee and Apollo Neuro, an infrared sauna and a continuous glucose monitor.

• purely in my biohacking capacity, that is…

“What do you want for Christmas?”, 11-year-old Mia asked me a few days ago. Only in retrospect did I realise my granddaughter was probably hoping I’d ask the same question in return – but she’d given me the idea for this blog post, and not being much of a multi-tasker, my mind wandered and I dropped the ball.

My husband didn’t ask what I wanted, so I told him anyway: an ozone generator plus an oxygen tank. Not only might this be the weirdest ever Santa request, it didn’t help my case that I thought it was the kind of tank that scuba divers use.

“You don’t dive with oxygen; you dive with compressed air,” he snarled explained. (Roy’s a master diver, and I’m patently no sort of diver at all.)

Anyway, here’s a modest list of five things this biohacker would like for Christmas Present, and another two that can wait for Christmas Future. Be warned, though – come Christmas Eve, there’s every chance I might already have bought one or more of the list of five. (Roy just loves that about me.)

Christmas Presents

1. Counter-top water flosser

Why I want it: Good health begins in the gut – and the gut begins in the mouth. Water-flossing is a great addition to anyone’s dental regimen, getting rid of more debris than normal flossing will do – and without the risk of mechanical injury from sharp nylon floss biting into vulnerable gums and causing bleeding.

Why I need it: I inadvertently killed my portable Braun Oral B water flosser after just a few months of use. It already wasn’t happy that I’d used saline solution in it. Adding a drop of frankincense essential oil, as recommended by my oral hygienist,  may have been the coup de grâce. You can, however, use salt in one of the sturdier counter-top versions. It costs about A$170 for this Waterpik Ultraprofessional model.

2. MacBook Air hard cover

Why I need one at all:

A biohacking blogger needs to keep her hardware in good working order. And a travel blogger (travelswithverneandroy.com) who carries her laptop around the world – as I may start doing again sometime next year, who knows? – needs to protect it from the inevitable slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.

Speaking of outrageous, a Heathrow security oaf once put a deep crease into the corner of one of my previous MacBook Pros by dropping it on the floor – and hardly had the grace to apologise. Thinking about it still makes me foam gently at the mouth.

Why I need a new one:

He’s not the only fool ever to have dropped my laptop. I did it myself not so long ago – just look at the state of my pretty new Macbook Air cover. Thank goodness it was a good one, and the machine itself is still in one piece! Now it needs a new cover (priced around A$130 – gulp.)

 3. Medical ozone generator

Why I want one:

Athletes use ozone therapy to enhance performance, explains über-biohacker Dave Asprey. Chronically ill patients use it to fight auto-immune diseases, cancer, Lyme and coeliac. He himself used *rectal insufflation to overcome mould toxicity. High performers are using it to power up cognitive function, slow ageing, and supercharge their energy. Who of us couldn’t do with a better brain, more energy and improved longevity?

Which one I want:

Simply 03’s Stratus 2.0 home-user ozone generator kit comes with catheters, ozone bags, syringes, a one-way valve, six-foot silicone tubing, a power-cord and an oxygen regulator (to regulate the flow from your oxygen tank). It’s priced at A$1,020.

According to Dave, I need a 540 industrial oxygen tank to go with it – the medical ones require a doctor’s note. But don’t tell them you want it for medical use, or they might not sell it to you. Not that there’s any danger, as long as you follow some simple safety guidelines.

I know I’ve left a thousand questions unanswered. (*Rectal what?) Once Santa has delivered, I promise I’ll have a lot more to say about the – ahem – ins and outs of ozone therapy.

4. Sleep tracker – the Oūra ring

Why we all need one:

What doesn’t get measured, doesn’t get managed – smug-sounding, but a truism. The brand new Gen. 3 Oūra ring, which apart from improving its already amazing sleep-tracking abilities now also has an oximeter (blood oxygen reader) and measures daytime heartrate on the go.

Why I want this one:

I’ve been very happy with my Gen. 2 ring – see my blog post here – and if I do the upgrade before 29 November, I get a US$50 discount off the $299 price, plus free life membership (valued at $150). Bargain! (At times like these, we may have to be our own Santa.)

Alternatives:

Someone I respect highly recommends the Whoop wrist band “the latest, most advanced fitness and health wearable available”, according to its website. I’d love to give it a whirl, but I’d say you either go the Oūra route or the Whoop route – they give very similar information. Here’s a useful comparison to help you choose. That’s if you haven’t already sworn allegiance to Fitbit, Apple Watch or something similar. One can only wear – and pay for – so many wearables. No, you say? You could be right.

5. Mood-altering wearables

Hapbee

Why I want it: This may just be the ultimate wearable technology – a mood-altering device you wear around your neck or wrap around your head that lets you choose how you feel. In the makers’ own words, Hapbee uses “proprietary ultra-low radiofrequency energy technology that emulates specific magnetic fields to produce desired feelings in the body – i.e. Happy, Alert, Focus, Relax, Calm and Deep Sleep”. For the science, read here. It costs US$399, it’s received rave reviews from numerous top biohackers, and it comes with a 30-day money back guarantee.

Apollo Neuro – “a wearable hug for your nervous system”

Why I want it (maybe): Apollo (US$349) is a wearable touch-therapy device that you attach to your wrist or ankle, emitting “silent, soothing vibrations” that “speak to your nervous system, telling you you’re in control” – presumably whether or not you actually are in control.

It claims to stimulate the parasympathetic response through gentle vibrations. It promises to strengthen and rebalance your nervous system, thereby improving HRV (heart rate variability), an important marker of resilience to stress. Here’s more on the science behind it – and again, it’s had some great reviews, but by no means universal.

Ghosts of Christmas Future…

6. Infrared sauna

Why I want one: Regular sweating is one of the best therapies out there – and I’d like to bring it in here. My gym (Craigie Leisure Centre) has a great spa facility that includes a spa bath, a sauna and a steam room, and I have been known to use it. But I’m not always in the mood to disport my semi-naked body with up to ten sweaty tradies (tradesmen) at a time – no matter how artistic their tattoos or insightful their political views may be.

Here’s 10 reasons why biohacker Ben Greenfield is addicted to infrared sauna. They include: heart health and longevity, detoxification of chemicals and heavy metals, athletic recovery, arthritic and muscular pain relief, muscle gain and fat loss, immune system boosting, skin rejuvenation, relaxation and better sleep, increased cardiovascular performance, and increased stress resilience.

Which one I want: Sunlighten infrared saunas come highly recommended; the mighty Dave Asprey is said to have had one in his home ever since he healed his neck with it. But Sunlighten’s smallest model, the Solosystem, is for just one person lying down and was quoted at A$4,700 when I last enquired – plus delivery from Melbourne. The Signature European 2-Person model was close on $8,000, plus delivery and installation. There have to be other, more affordable options.

Luckily there’s no hurry and I can wait for Christmas 2022 for this particular biohack. I won’t have place for my sauna until our new house has been built and we’re ready to move in, sometime in the latter half of 2022.

7. Continuous glucose monitor (CGM)

What I really, really want: … is a non-invasive wearable that continuously tracks blood glucose, but that technology does not yet exist. Various companies are working on the case: see here – so it’s just a matter of time.  Rumour had it that this year’s new Apple iWatch would have that capability, but rumour lied. (So I really, really don’t want an iWatch for Christmas.)

I’ve experimented with the two main CGM providers out there: Dexcom and Freestyle Libre. They both work with minimally invasive sensors that measure interstitial fluid glucose levels through a sensor attached to a fibre that you implant into your skin. I love the real-time information these things provide; and I prefer Freestyle Libre’s version.

Including shipping, each sensor costs close on A$100 and works for two weeks before it dies and you have to rip it off your tummy (the Dexcom) or the back of your arm (Freestyle Libre). So until the whizz-kids come up with the thing I crave, I’ll settle for a couple of these babies. (Here I should confess that they’re already on order.)

Coming up next, some thoughts on how much protein we need… and, depending on your age and other factors, it may be more than you thought!